I stumbled upon this image on twitter the other day, posted by my friend Emilia. Since then, I've been thinking a lot on this quotation. So I thought I'd share it. :)
Some time ago, I read a brilliant post on A Practical Wedding (which I used to read religiously) by a now-friend of mine. Which now blows my mind that I am friends with such incredible people.
Her post talked about allowing yourself to mourn the path not taken. Every decision we make, big or small, means we are leaving another path behind. I get caught up easily in comparing my life to other people's, which is human nature, I think, but it doesn't mean it's productive. I was raised to be proud, to commit to my choices. And most of the time, I am proud, and I do commit. But in these moments of insecurity, it's nice to go back to the post and remember:
...we need to give each other permission, and perhaps more importantly we need to give ourselves permission, to mourn the path not taken. The one that might have been amazing, but for good and true and happy reasons, we didn’t choose. We need to know that it is ok to joyfully head into marriage, while simultaneously taking some days or weeks of quiet time to lay to rest the life we are leaving behind. We can choose confidently to have children, or not have children, and be equally confident about sharing how hard that choice was, and how we might wonder what the other life might have been like. We can embrace our decision to move across the country for a new job, while crying for the family we left behind. We should be able to share our frustrations with this week or month or year of marriage, while in the same breath, saying how grateful we are for our partner. This mourning, these tiny deaths– they don’t mean that you aren’t sure. It doesn’t mean that you didn’t choose what was right for you and your family. What it means is that you are human, and that you are able to acknowledge both the happy and the hard nuances of life.